#416 - MY MAJOR PREACHING MISTAKE

Today I was made aware that, in my message on Sunday, I used an illustration that was insensitive and hurtful to someone in the congregation. Though I did not intend to, in any way, be hurtful, it didn't change the fact that the person (and potentially others) was/were hurt and offended by the comments that I made. Thankfully, this person had enough courage to share how I hurt her so that I could be made aware of my insensitivity and of my blindspots.

Though it grieved me to hear how I had been hurtful, this circumstance does bring up a great learning opportunity for me. It gives me the opportunity to determine how I will respond when I am "called out" for communicating in a way that isn't the best. 

Being that I preach in my local church at least 40 times a year, I preach outside of my local church at least 5 times a year, and I blog daily, this will not be the last time I say or post words that are unintentionally hurtful or offensive to others. But, when this does happen again, I want to be the type of person who takes responsibility for his words. 

I don't know if I did so well doing this today when I spoke to the person that I had hurt, but I hope from this day forward I can keep the following things in mind when I am made aware of a mistake with my words:

1. LISTEN. DON'T EXPLAIN.

When I have made a mistake with my words, I need to listen carefully to the person correcting me. I need to hear out exactly how what I said was particularly hurtful, offensive, or insensitive. Early on in the conversation I must put the emphasis on listening how I was hurtful and not on explaining why I said what I said.  

2. EMPATHIZE. DON'T EXCUSE.

After hearing and understanding how what I said was not the best, I need to empathize deeply with the person's pain or concern. I need to put myself in their shoes and let them know I can see and understand how they could be hurt or offended by what I said. At this point in the conversation I must put the emphasis on validating their feelings not on excusing my behavior.  

3. APOLOGIZE. DON'T ESCAPE.

When I am clear on how I have failed someone with my words and the person who I have failed is clear that I understand them, I must apologize sincerely for my actions. I must take complete responsibility for my mistake and ask for the person's forgiveness. By the end of the conversation, the emphasis must be on me apologizing for what I said and not on avoiding the consequences for my behavior.  

In addition to this unfortunate circumstance giving me the opportunity to reflect upon how I intend to handle situations like this in the future, it also made me thankful for a congregation who is patient with a sinful, flawed, pastor like me! To be loved and appreciated not only when you "succeed" but also when you "fail" is a gift from God. I am so humbled by the privilege I have to lead our church, and I hope that in the coming months and years I can lead in a way that is more edifying and encouraging to the people and more pleasing and glorifying to God.

#409 - HOW TO TURN YOUR BURDENS INTO BLESSINGS

Last week during my Thanksgiving break, though it was beneficial and necessary for me to reflect upon my blessings, as I was doing so, it occurred to me how easy it was to do. In light of how much I have in comparison with so many other people around the world, how could I respond with anything less than gratitude and appreciation! 

But then it dawned on me, "Could I be as thankful for my burdens as I am for my blessings?" King Solomon said it best...

"On a good day, enjoy yourself; On a bad day, examine your conscience. God arranges for both kinds of days So that we won’t take anything for granted." Ecclesiastes 7:15 (The Message)

In attempt to express my gratitude for the circumstances in my life that are more difficult than they are joyful, here is a short list of my current "unfortunate realities" that I am thankful for: 

1. WHAT I CAN'T AFFORD

I am thankful that I can't afford to pay off all of my debt. It forces me to learn the tough lesson of being a "slave to the lender." It requires me to develop a plan for getting out of debt slowly which is the method by which most people have to do so. If I was given a large sum of money to pay off all of my debt at once, I would be robbed of the opportunity to develop the disciplines of budgeting and delayed gratification. I am so thankful for what I can't afford!

2. HOW I HAVEN'T SUCCEEDED

I am thankful that our church hasn't reached all the growth projections that I had dreamed of and desired when we first launched over two years ago. There is a purifying of motivations that is taking place as a result of failed numerical goals. There is a re-evaluating of my heart that is happening because of unmet expectations. There is a humility that is developing as a result of not being able to achieve what I thought I was capable of achieving. If the church had experienced all the growth I was expecting, I would be more focused on the size of our church than the hearts of our people, I would have missed out on the intimacy of a smaller community of faith, and I would be more arrogant than I already am! I am so thankful for how I haven't succeeded!

3. WHO I DON'T KNOW

I am thankful that I don't have the connections to influential people that some people have. This requires me to trust in God more than I trust in man. This enables me to invest my time with many people as opposed to having my time monopolized by one person who I feel I need to impress or keep satisfied. This frees me to not live and lead in such a way that caters to one type of person and alienates others. If I had connections to famous, influential people I would probably find my identity more in who I'm known by than in who I'm privileged to serve. I am so thankful for who I don't know!   

I encourage you to take some time to express your gratitude for your burdens. What you'll find is that when you do, your burdens become your blessings!

#408 - THE 4 LEADERSHIP PITFALLS

This morning I read a blog post that included a quote that absolutely stopped me in my tracks. 

Your failure can be as influential as your faithfulness.

Whoa. As a leader, this brutal reality scares me. But, I have seen the truth of it play out in the lives of various leaders throughout the years, and it is devastating to watch. Many times, a leader's failure falls into one of 4 categories my pastor exposed to me years ago, and I will write about them here in such a way that encourages both you and I to avoid them at all costs!

1. SILVER

Are you managing money responsibly? Whether it be your personal finances or the finances of the organization you lead, are you handling finances with integrity? Are you overspending? Are you stealing? Are you getting yourself deeper into debt? Are you making efforts to get yourself out of debt? Are you reporting income? Are you avoiding paying taxes? If I had a video camera on how you were stewarding your financial resources, would there be anything for you to be ashamed of?

Leader, handle your finances with integrity because failure here will surely destroy your leadership legacy regardless of your faithfulness elsewhere. It's not a matter of if, but when!

2. SEX   

Are you being sexually immoral? Whether you are married or not, are you pursuing sexual purity? Do you have a healthy sex life with your spouse? Are you addicted to pornography? Are you developing inappropriate emotional or physical relationships? Are you having sex outside of the context of marriage? Do you find yourself spending time on social media or the internet viewing inappropriate images and videos? If I had a video camera on how you were behaving sexually, would there be anything for you to be ashamed of?    

Leader, pursue sexual purity because failure here will surely destroy your leadership legacy regardless of your faithfulness elsewhere. It's not a matter of if, but when!

3. SLOTH

Are you lazy? Whether you work from home or work in an office, are you working the hours for which you are getting paid? Are you doing the minimum amount that your job requires? Do you look for ways to do the least amount of work in the most amount of time? Are you lying about the work you are actually getting done? Are you constantly procrastinating? If I had a video camera on your work ethic on the job, would there be anything for you to be ashamed of?   

Leader, work hard because failure here will surely destroy your leadership legacy regardless of your faithfulness elsewhere. It's not a matter of it, but when!

4. SELF

Are you prideful? Whether outwardly or inwardly, are you aware of your unhealthy attitudes of pride? Can you admit when you're wrong? Are you able to take correction and discipline from others? Are you able to receive direction and guidance from others? Are you able to forgive? Can you sincerely apologize without making excuses? Is your pride something you can swallow or something that you are compelled to protect? 

Leader, embrace humility because failure here will surely destroy your leadership legacy regardless of your faithfulness elsewhere. It's not a matter of if, but when!

Here's the deal. If you find yourself struggling with any of the four pitfalls above the best thing you can do for yourself is this: TELL SOMEONE, AND GET SOME HELP...NOW!

This is urgent. Continuing to succumb to these pitfalls will absolutely end your leadership journey, but more importantly they will destroy your life.

I pray this final blunt statement will compel you to deal with these pitfalls accordingly:

As it relates to certain repeated failures, though GRACE from God is AVAILABLE, DISQUALIFICATION from your position is INEVITABLE. 

#407 - COUNSELING - SESSION #2

After two sessions, I am absolutely sold on the ability of "My Counselor" to add tremendous value to my life. He listens well. He shares from his own experiences openly. He passes on insights from authors I have never heard of. He connects his thoughts to the Scriptures. He admits and is aware of his own brokenness. And he does all this while using cuss words every now and then to provide emphasis when necessary! I love it!

And just like the first session, in our time together yesterday, he encouraged me with several thoughts that will probably take me a while to fully understand and implement into my life! In an effort to have these lessons more firmly impressed upon my heart, I have attached a prayer to each one expressing how I hope God uses these lessons in my life.  

LESSON #1 - "Beg God to make you invisibly visible."

Dear Heavenly Father, as I point people to you, may people see through me to see you. May they not get overly enamored with how I point to you, but instead, be impressed and amazed by YOU! Your goodness. Your mercy. Your love. Your beauty. May who I am and what I do fade to the background as your glory and majesty comes to the forefront. Lord, I know I cannot abdicate my responsibility to point to you, but may all of my pointing lead people to see that, above all else, the point is You.

LESSON #2 - "Rejoice in being nothing."

Dear Heavenly Father, I must first admit there is a deep desire in me to become something. I want to be known. I want to be recognized. I want to have influence. I want to be successful. And though in and of themselves these desires may not be entirely bad, they bring along with them so much baggage. It is with that in mind that, right here and right now, I want to settle in my heart that if you never gave me another ounce of influence or if you took what influence I had away, I would still have a million reasons to praise and worship you!

If no one knew my name, I would rejoice in knowing that I know Your name. If no one heard me speak, I would rejoice in knowing that I have heard You speak. If no one read a word I wrote, I would rejoice in knowing that I have read the words that You wrote. If no one attended my church, I would rejoice in knowing that I am a part of Your church. Lord, give me the ability to rejoice in being nothing because, in You, I have EVERYTHING.

LESSON #3 - "Not new things, but in a new way."

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for creating me with specific gifts to use, innate desires to pursue, and a unique purpose to fulfill. You placed these things within me at birth and over the last 33 years of my life I have become more and more aware of what these things are. Thank you for the "things" you have placed within me! As I approach the halfway point of my life, my desire is not that you would give me "new things," but that I would embrace, approach, and pursue these things in a "new way." 

Help me to steward the gifts you have given me to use with a greater level of humility - realizing that their power comes from you. Help me to steward the desires you have given me to pursue with a greater level of caution - realizing that desire improperly managed can lead to destruction. Help me to steward the purpose you have given me to fulfill with a greater level of faith - realizing that without faith it is impossible to please you! Lord, may I always remember that it is not who you have uniquely created me to be that needs to change, but it is how I approach who you've created me to be that needs to be ever evolving. 

#406 - THE LIE YOU MUST STOP TELLING YOURSELF

You are not what you say, think, or hope you do. You are what you actually do.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but for the sake of your full potential, it's exactly what you need to hear.

You have been fooling yourself for far too long. You have been making statements about yourself that just aren't true. You have been identifying yourself as someone who you are not. And today, you need to allow the truth to set you free! 

Think about the last 60 days of your life.

If you have not led anyone to do something that they would not have done on their own, you are not a leader. If you have not loved your spouse with practical actions of love and kindness, you are not a loving spouse. If you have not sacrificed as a parent your time, energy, or money, you are not a sacrificial parent. You are what you actually do.

If you have not been generous with your resources, you are not generous. If you have not been kind to your neighbors in word or in deed, you are not kind. If you have not been honest about your life, your fears, and your shortcomings, you are not honest. You are what you actually do.   

If you have not played a sport, you are not an athlete. If you have not written, you are not a writer. If you have not played an instrument, you are not an musician. If you have not created anything, you are not a creative! You are what you actually do.

I do not write these words to condemn you. I write these words to wake you up! 

One of the major sources of disappointment and frustration in your life probably has something to do with the fact that who you think you are and who you actually are is not the same!

With that in mind, the most helpful thing you can do to become the person you desire to be, is first admit that you haven't been who you intend to be. Be HONEST with yourself. 

Then, ACT.

If you say you're a leader, lead someone. If you say you're a writer, write something. If you say you're runner, run somewhere. You are what you actually do.

Don't overcomplicate it. Don't fight back. Don't hesitate. 

I understand that there's a philosophy out there that says, being precedes doing. I agree with it. But I also believe that this philosophy is equally true...

To become someone you have to DO something.

Stop lying and start doing. The world needs who you are going to become as a result of what you do.  

#403 - HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GREAT LEADER AND A MEDIOCRE ONE

A few days ago, I was exposed to a quote by, Andy Stanley, one of the leaders who has had a tremendous impact on my approach to leadership and, once again, he has provided me a leadership insight that is so helpful! The thought is this:

"Great leaders absorb. Mediocre leaders defend." 

In my leadership experience there is no doubt that on many occasions I have chosen the path of the mediocre leader and been defensive. Here are three things that I have allowed myself to defend that, moving forward, I will, instead, absorb. 

1. CRITICISM/FEEDBACK

Though you may see the two as different things, many times passive aggressive people disguise their criticism by calling it feedback, or as insecure leaders we mistaken honest feedback for being criticism. But, regardless of what it is being communicated (criticism or feedback), we must choose to absorb it and not defend against it. There is something that can be learned from every piece of criticism/feedback that is received, and it is the great leader that exchanges defensiveness for humility and allows him/herself to learn from it rather than be offended by it.    

2. FALSE ACCUSATIONS

Now don't get me wrong, if someone is accusing you of something that, if true, can disqualify you or have you removed from your position of leadership you must defend yourself. But, if someone is accusing you of things that may just be hurtful to you or harmful to your reputation, the wise decision is to absorb rather than defend. Why? Instead of investing your energies defending the things that are not true about you, great leaders invest their energies building on what is true about them!   

3. TRUE MISTAKES

When you are wrong, own it, don't defend it. "Absorbing" your mistakes means admitting them, taking responsibility for the consequences of them, and choosing not to blame someone else for why you did what you did. Great leaders confess without hemming, hawing, or hedging. The more defensive of your mistakes you are, the less credible of a leader you become. The weakest leaders aren't those who make mistakes, the weakest leaders are those who make mistakes and can't admit the fact that they have! 

Will your life be defined by mediocrity or greatness? The answer may be found in whether or not you, when given the opportunity, choose to absorb or defend. I hope you and I can have the courage and wisdom to choose the former and not the latter. After all, for those of us who identify as Christians, is this not what our Savior chose to do?

#402 - THE ENCOURAGEMENT I DESPERATELY NEEDED

On the last day of the Acts 29 Healthy Leaders Conference, I had the opportunity to hear Matt Chandler, a preacher and leader who I've been encouraged and inspired by for years, preach live for the very first time! Though his message was abbreviated, God used him to deliver a particular word that I desperately needed to be reminded of.

At one point in the message he referenced the importance of pastors killing their desire to compare. He basically said that if God wanted a particular "rock star" pastor to be in the location that I am, he would have put him there! He went on to say that by desiring the skills, abilities, influence, and style that another pastor has, we are actually questioning and belittling God's choice of us! 

For a leader like myself who is, often times, insecure in my abilities, age, and experience, this was both encouraging and convicting all at the same time! Who am I to question why God placed me with my skill set, in this place, at this time? Though my qualifications may be questionable, God's ability to qualify is unquestionable! In other words, God did not make a mistake when he chose Edward Paz to be the Lead Pastor of theMOVEMENT Church in Oakland, California! (Just writing that is freeing!)

He then communicated this little phrase that should drive us to confidently pursue and operate in the calling and assignment that we've been given:

"Him. In me. Here."

God. In me. In Oakland. This is why I can lead boldly. This is why I can preach passionately. This is why I can believe audaciously. 

God. In me. In Oakland. I don't have to mimic someone else's style. I don't have to adopt someone else's approach. I don't have to envy someone else's gifts. 

God. In me. In Oakland. This is not only the source of my confidence, but it is also the wellspring of my humility. It is God who is building His Church. It is God who is blessing my work. It is God who is bringing His promises to come to pass.

But this word does not only apply to me. It applies to you as well. Because God is in you where you are, you should be encouraged as well!

God. In you. At work. God. In you. At school. God. In you. At home. God. In you. In failure. God. In you. In success. God. In you. While you're waiting. God. In you. When you're thriving. 

Because God is in you where you are, you're exactly where you're supposed to be. OWN IT. 

#401 - AN UNDERESTIMATED OBSTACLE TO CHANGE

In the second day at the Acts 29: Healthy Leaders Conference, Scotty Ward Smith, preached during the morning session and said so many profound things that I couldn't keep up and write them all down! But, one thing he did say that I was able to write down and that was quite impactful was this...

"As long as your cry for relief is greater than your cry for growth, you are never going to change." 

Yikes.

This is particularly convicting for me because though I am someone who has been very committed to growth, in recent months, my cry for relief has been "louder." I just want the hurt that can be experienced in leadership to cease to exist! I just want relief from my distress, and comfort for my pain! Right now, I'd rather be given a way out than a way through! 

But, though this is how I may be feeling, I know it is not the prayer I should be praying. 

The truth is, what I really want is to be healthy more than I desire to be free from hurt. What I really yearn for is maturity more than I yearn for a life free from mess. What I really long for is change more than I long for a life free from conflict. 

I would rather be growing and hurting than dying and painless.

So in response to this very insightful statement by Scotty Ward Smith, my admonition to both you and I is this: However uncomfortable it may be, we must accept the pain, confront the hurt, own the sin, and face the discomfort. Our desire to be pain free must no longer stand in the way of our desire to be set free!

There was a day when we prayed for growth and change. Remember? If so, we must stop praying for God to remove the very instruments that He intends to use to bring about the growth and change we asked for!

It's like knowing we need a heart transplant but asking the doctor not to use a scalpel - foolish.

#400 - A QUOTE WORTH STRONGLY CONSIDERING

It was a great first day at the Acts 29: Healthy Leaders Conference that I am attending in Dallas, Texas with my friends. One of the breakout sessions I attended was entitled Creating A Culture of Renewal and Rest (How to Avoid Burnout) and in this session Pastor Harvey Turner shared an insight that I was somewhat aware of, but had never been able to put words to. In speaking about the importance of rest he stated:

"Knowledge of self comes from rest. Therefore, without rest you will only repent from the edges of your soul." 

Whoa. 

May it never be said about me that I only had the ability to repent from the edges of my soul. May I always make rest a priority so that I have the time and space to become self-aware of not only my bad behaviors, but also, what is driving those bad behaviors. May I never be so delusional to think that repenting from the edges of my soul is enough. May I always be thoroughly convinced that if I am not repenting from the center of my soul, I am not opening myself up to the full measure of God's grace, mercy, and healing that He desires to pour out into my life. In other words, may I never be so rushed and busy with doing the work of God that I am neglecting the work God is doing in me.

Are you afraid of rest? Are you afraid of silence and solitude? Are you afraid of quieting the noise in your life because if you do the truth about who you are and how you need God's grace will be made self-evident? Are you afraid of the "real you" - with your impure motives, unconfessed sin, and prideful persona? If so, I'd like to remind you...

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18 ESV)

Do not be afraid. God absolutely loves the "real you." Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly, and this should free us from our fear of Him. In the same way that we will not allow a dentist to help us until we are convinced he doesn't intend to harm us, we must trust that God is for us if we truly desire for Him to free us.     

Do not be afraid of rest. Do not avoid pressing pause on your work obligations to find out who the "real you" is. Do not neglect sabbaticals, sabbaths, silence, or solitude. Why?

Because only when you are made aware of the "center of your sin" can you repent from the "center of your soul."

#398 - THE KEY TO AVOID RUNNING ON EMPTY

Sometimes you are the one who needs encouragement. Sometimes you are the one who needs inspiration. Sometimes you are the one who needs to be invested in. Sometimes you are the one who needs someone to speak into your life. 

Though you are the teacher, sometimes you need to be taught. Though you are the motivator, sometimes you need to be motivated. Though you are the leader, sometimes you need to be led. Though you are the giver, sometimes you need to be given to.

If you don't take heed to this truth, there will come a day when you have nothing to teach, no motivation, no one to lead, and nothing to give. Why? Because...

Nothing can be poured out of an empty cup.

With this simple principle in mind, I must be just as committed to "filling my cup" as I am to "pouring myself out." Therefore, in an effort to "fill my cup," this week, me and some friends are attending a conference themed: Healthy Leaders. You can expect blog posts over the next several days from all that I am learning from the conference. 

But enough about me. Attending a conference is what I'm going to do to get the encouragement and inspiration I need to continue to be a leader who has something to give. What are you going to do? 

As a leader, what are you going to do to put yourself into a position to be led? What are you going to do to put yourself into a position to receive? Please, identify an opportunity and take advantage of it. Your ability to be healthy and remain influential depends on it.  

#393 - THE ONE QUESTION THAT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE HOW YOU MAKE DECISIONS

Decisions. It is very likely that you currently have important decisions that you need to make. Vocational decisions. Relational decisions. Educational decisions. Financial decisions. Spiritual decisions. Ethical decisions.

The question I'd like to answer in today's post is, "How can I ensure that I make the right decisions?

Though I wish the answer to this question was original to me, the credit must go to Andy Stanley, a pastor and leader that has had a huge impact on my life. In his Leadership Podcast from November of 2014, he provides insight on good decision making that I'd like to share with you.

He says that having a process by which you can make good decisions is so important because, "Our greatest regrets are, often times, connected to bad decisions."

And I couldn't agree more with that statement! My greatest financial regrets are due to bad financial decisions! My greatest relational regrets are due to bad relational decisions! My greatest health regrets are due to bad health decisions!   

With all that in mind, the question that he states will revolutionize how you make decisions is this:

"What is the wise thing for me to do?"

And if that seems too simple for you he gives the following three questions to further flesh out the one above.

1. In light of my past experiences, what is the wise thing for me to do?

2. In light of my current circumstances, what is the wise thing for me to do?

3. In light of my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?

To help you better understand how you can apply these questions to your decision making, I want to share with you how I used them to help me make a tough decision that I was recently faced with.

I recently decided to withdraw this semester from my classes in Seminary. Now, how did I determine that this was the wise thing for me to do? Here's how the three questions helped me to come to that conclusion:

1. In light of my past experiences, the wise thing for me to do is to withdraw because I know during the weeks of midterms and finals I am going to have very little energy to put towards anything other than school, and right now I need to be able to put a significant amount of energy towards leading the church. Also, in light of my past experiences, I know that if I have not adequately prepared for my midterms and finals, I will be tempted to cheat. If I know I won't be able to put enough time and energy into my studies, I don't want to put myself in a position where I am tempted to compromise my values for the sake of passing classes. 
    

2. In light of my current circumstances, the wise thing for me to do is withdraw because there is just way too much going on that is a higher priority to me than school. First of all, we are moving from one home to another! I need to be able to invest my energy and time to make sure this is successful. Second of all, and most importantly, right now, the church needs my undivided attention. There has been an unusually high number of people facing difficult circumstances that I must be emotionally available for. We also have recently brought on 7 volunteer staff members that I must lead well. Finally, the truth is, I can't afford to be in school right now! My current circumstances do not allow for my disposable income to go towards school. 
    

3. In light of my future hopes and dreams, the wise thing for me to do is withdraw because I am more committed to becoming an effective pastor now than I am to becoming a seminary graduate later. Now, I understand that becoming a seminary graduate can help me become a better pastor, but it is not the only thing I can do to become a better pastor. Also, my future hopes and dreams include being a healthy and whole person and I truly believe withdrawing from school, for this semester, is a step in that direction.   

I hope my example of how I applied Andy's questions to my decision making process can help you with a decision you currently need to make, but, after running your decision through the questions above you may find yourself saying...

WHAT IF I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?

If you find yourself stuck, Andy has this to say:

Wise people know when they don't know, and they are not afraid to go to those who do know.  

In other words, if you desire to do the wise thing and Andy's questions don't help to bring you clarity, go to someone you trust and ask them, "In light of my past experiences, current circumstances, and future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?"

#392 - THE ONE WORD THAT SHOULD DRIVE YOU FOR THE REMAINDER OF 2015

I have to admit. I've been distracted lately. Social media has become increasingly distracting. Opportunities outside of my job as a pastor have become distracting. Inner ambitions that have been dormant for a long time have awakened and have become a distraction. Even my past failures and mistakes have become a distraction to the job that I have been given. 

With all of these distractions in my life, the truth is: hours have been wasted, energy has been diverted, and productivity has diminished. 

But last night, I was reminded of one simple word that will drive, guide, and motivate me for the remainder of 2015...

FOCUS.

Instead of being sucked into the time-wasting abyss known as social media, I must focus. Instead of entertaining myself with other entrepreneurial endeavors, I must focus. Instead of wallowing in various forms of loss that I have experienced in recent months, I must focus.   

And what is it, exactly, that I must focus on? LEADING THE CHURCH.

I have been given a responsibility. I have been given an opportunity. I have been given a gift. To not focus on leading the church that I have been called to lead would not only be a disservice to the church, but, more importantly, it would be disobedience to God. 

Leading the church is my occupation. Leading the church is my calling. Leading the church is my test of stewardship. Leading the church is the "one thing" that, if done well, will produce the greatest return for me in this life and the next! 

Now, with all of that said, I probably am not the only one who needed to be reminded of the importance of focus. What about you? What is the "one thing" you need to focus on for the rest of the year. What is the "one thing" that you want to have momentum with going into 2016? What is the "one thing" that needs/deserves your attention?

As you think about that, maybe this final thought will give you the kick in the butt you need to determine your "one thing" and focus on it:

If you're not taking the MOST responsibility for the things that are uniquely YOUR responsibility, you're being IRRESPONSIBLE!

#391 - COUNSELING - SESSION #1

Last week, for the first time in my life, I went see to see a counselor. The time was so encouraging and enriching, and I can't wait to go again next month! But, before my next session, here are three things my counselor said that I'm still doing my best to digest!

LESSON #1 - "To live well is to grieve well because to live is to lose things."

As a pastor, I am constantly helping others with their grief. What I learned in my first session is that I have grief that I need to deal with as well. I need to do the "hard work" of grieving well understanding that I cannot deal with your grief if I have not dealt with mine!

LESSON #2 - "Evil people aren't people who do bad things. Everyone does bad things. Evil people are people who do bad things and don't think that what they are doing is bad."

I am going to do bad things. That is a given. What is going to separate me from the "evil people" is my ability to acknowledge and confess the bad things I am doing. Man, my counselor is so wise!

LESSON #3 - "You are most qualified to be a pastor when you know you are unqualified to be a pastor."

This was very refreshing to hear! I often struggle with how unqualified and undeserving I feel about being a lead pastor of a church. But to know that a posture of humility that admits you are "in over your head" is the exact posture a pastor needs to maintain is very encouraging to me. I can definitely maintain a posture of weakness as it relates to pastoring because, on most days, I feel weak!

#390 - ONE MANTRA THAT WILL HELP YOU PERSEVERE

The leadership journey is hard. The leadership journey is long. The leadership journey is frustrating. The leadership journey is exhausting.

How can you last? How can you endure? How can you continue, especially on the days when you want to quit?

Many things can be said, but lately, there has been one thought, one idea, one mantra that has been driving me to continue to put one foot in front of the other. The mantra is this:

I will be here 30 years from now.

I will be here 30 years from now. In 30 years, I will still be leading this organization. In 30 years, I will still be pursuing our organization's mission. In 30 years, I will still be discovering, developing, and deploying leaders.  

When I think about the goal and vision of being here 30 years from now, I am inspired. I am energized. I am invigorated. 

The current troubles. The current concerns. The current conflicts. The current challenges. The current roadblocks. All of the difficulties seem much smaller in light of a 30 year commitment to the process.

When you have pre-determined that you will lead in the capacity you are in for 30 years, when troubles arise, only one option makes itself available to you: ENDURE.

What benefits do you see to a 30-year commitment? Please leave your comments below, I'd really like to know!

#388 - 3 KEY QUESTIONS THAT WILL JUMPSTART YOUR PROGRESS

Asking great questions of others gives you greater insight into how you can more effectively lead others. Asking great questions of yourself gives you greater insight into how you can more effectively lead yourself. With that in mind, here are 3 questions that if you ask them of yourself and act on them today, you are sure to be a better leader tomorrow. 

1. What do you need to stop doing?

What are the tasks and activities you find yourself engaging in that are wasting your time, draining your energy, and keeping you from the things that are most important? What one thing if you stopped doing it would free you to do more of what you are an expert at? Howard Hendricks said it best, "The secret to concentration is elimination." In an effort to provide the maximum value to your organization, what do you need to stop doing? 

2. What do you need to continue doing?

What are the tasks and activities you find yourself engaging in that are adding value, invigorating you, and moving the mission of your organization forward? What one thing if you kept doing it would keep the organization moving in the right direction? John C, Maxwell said it best, "Momentum is easier to steer than it is to start." In an effort to keep the momentum going, what do you need to continue doing?

3. What conversation do you need to have? 

It is very likely that your organization is just one conversation away from making tremendous progress. Who is having a negative impact on your team, and a conversation must be had to correct and hold them accountable for their behavior? Who is having a positive impact on your team, and a conversation must be had to encourage and appreciate their behavior? Which one person in your organization would benefit most from a personal conversation? King Solomon said it best, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in baskets of silver." In an effort to get the most out of those you lead, what conversation do you need to have?

Those these questions may be simple, answering them and taking action on your answers can be the catalyst for the progress you desire to see! 

What are other questions a leader can ask themselves to make progress in their leadership? Please leave your comments below, I'd really like to know.

#387 - THE UGLY REALITY OF LEADERSHIP

Once the excitement of the title wears off. Once the perks of the position get old. Once the rush of the opportunity subsides. The ugly reality of leadership hits:

LEADERSHIP IS HARD. 

And it's always harder than you thought it would be! Time management - hard. People management - hard. Recruiting great people - hard. Keeping great people - hard. Resolving conflict - hard. Raising finances - hard. Overcoming obstacles - hard. 

LEADERSHIP IS HARD. 

There is no getting around it. There is no avoiding it. And there certainly is no passing the hard parts of leadership off to someone else!

LEADERSHIP IS HARD. 

No matter how much you study. No matter how long you prepare. No matter how experienced you may be. 

LEADERSHIP IS HARD. 

And because I don't think I had enough people warn me of how hard leadership was actually going to be, I feel it's my responsibility to tell you the absolute truth:

LEADERSHIP IS HARD. 

Why do you think you are ready to face the tough challenge of leadership? Please leave your comments below, I'd really like to know! 

#386 - 5 GREAT QUESTIONS GREAT LEADERS ASK

Yesterday, I wrote about A Leaders Secret Weapon - LISTENING. I wrote that if a leader isn't listening, a leader isn't leading. So with that in mind, today I wanted to share with you 5 questions you can ask of the people on your team to start conversations that will equip you to lead more effectively.  

1. What do you love most about your role?

This is the "passion" question. Asking this question and intently listening to the answer will give you insight into the area of work that your team member is most passionate about. Knowing the answer to this question will direct you to the type of work your team member is most satisfied by. Great leaders are aware of the work their team members love most.

2. What do you dislike most about your role?

This is the "frustration" question. Asking this question and intently listening to the answer will give you insight into the area of work that your team member is most frustrated with. Knowing the answer to this question will direct you to the type of work your team member is most dissatisfied by. Great leaders are aware of the work their team members like least.  

3. What challenge do you want to take on next?

This is the "growth" question. Asking this question and intently listening to the answer will give you insight into the area of work that your team member wants to engage in next. Knowing the answer to this question will direct you to the type of work you need to give to your team member next. Great leaders are aware of the areas in which their team members want to grow. 

4. What can I do to help you succeed?

This is the "servant" question. Asking this question and intently listening to the answer will give you insight into how you can serve your team members best. Knowing the answer to this question will direct you to the things you can do to help your team member succeed in their role. Great leaders are aware of how they can best help their team members win. 

5. What can I do to lead you more effectively?  

This is the "humility" question. Asking this question and intently listening to the answer will give you insight into how you can become a better leader. Knowing the answer to this question will direct you to the habits, practices, and processes you can put into place to lead better. Great leaders are aware that the best place for leadership feedback is from the people I actually lead!

More important than asking these questions is listening to the answers and even asking follow-up questions so that you can understand your team members' answers better.

Ask questions. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Listen carefully. It may the aspect of your leadership that benefits you and those you lead most!

What are other great questions great leaders ask of those they lead? Please leave your comments below, I'd really like to know!

#385 - A LEADER'S SECRET WEAPON

There are many "tactics" you must employ as a leader to lead effectively. Inspiring vision casting. Engaging team meetings. Desirable rewards and incentives. Timely recognition and appreciation. Ample space and time to accomplish tasks. The list goes on and on.  

Though the methods listed above are all very important in leading a team, I am convinced that the secret, silent "weapon" that can be used to gain more influence with those you lead than you may realize is...listening.

Not talking. Not explaining. Not teaching. Not convincing. Not training. Not inspiring. Not directing. LISTENING.

If you're not listening, you're not leading.

Are you aware of the thoughts, feelings, concerns, ambitions, desires, and motivations of those you lead? Are you sensitive to how those you lead feel about their role? Are you cognizant of how those you lead are feeling about their work load? Are you in tune with what those you lead think about you? 

If you don't know the answers to these questions, you are missing out on tremendous insight that can be used to be a more effective leader. 

So, how can you get the answers to the questions listed above? How can you become a better listener? How can you become more aware of what your team is actually thinking and feeling?

ASK GREAT QUESTIONS.

The quality of your questions has a direct impact on the quality of the information you receive to lead well. In tomorrow's post, I will share "5 Questions Every Great Leader Asks," but in the meantime, please share your thoughts on the following question...

Why is listening, often times, a challenge for leaders? Please leave your comments below, I'd really like to know!

#384 - AN UNLIKELY PLACE LEADERS FIND MOTIVATION

As a leader, motivation can be hard to find sometimes. The days are long. The people are difficult. The obstacles seems unsurmountable. And the current reality, many times, feels so far away from the preferred future. 

So, in the midst of these difficulties, how can a leader muster up the motivation they need to continue? While dealing with such obstacles, how can a leader incite the inspiration they need to keep going? When a leader is low on energy, how can a leader pinpoint the passion they need to lead for another day?

Many leaders look forward. They get inspired by the opportunity in front of them. They get motivated by the goals they have yet to reach. The get focused on what could be and what should be. 

And though looking ahead may be a common and effective way for a leader to find motivation, I'd like to encourage you to find motivation in a different place.

THE PAST.

Instead of just looking ahead, look behind. Instead of just looking at what is yet to be, look at what has been. Instead of just looking to the future, look to the past. 

Who are the lives that have been impacted? What are the success stories that have been told? What are the obstacles that have been overcome? What are the goals that have been achieved? Where are the areas you have been effective? 

When you recall where your leadership has been effective in the past, your faith increases that it can be effective in the future. When you remember where victories have been won in the organization in the past, your anticipation rises for victories in the future. When you remind yourself that lives have been changed in the past, your hope is renewed that lives will be changed in the future.

REMEMBER.

You never know, your greatest motivation could be found in your fondest memories. 

How can looking to your past give you motivation for the future? Please share your comments below, I'd really like to know!

#383 - A SERIOUS WARNING FOR LEADERS

For various reasons, you have been placed in a position of leadership. For various reasons, people have either voluntarily or involuntarily decided that they would follow you. For various reasons, people have positioned themselves to be influenced by you. 

But the fact of the matter is: your leadership position is a privilege not a right. Regardless of where you lead - in a home, business, school, church, non-profit, sports team, etc. - you are not entitled to your leadership position.   

So with that in mind, Don't take the opportunity you've been given to lead for granted. 

As a leader it is so easy to take for granted the fact that people show up. It's so easy to take for granted the fact that people pitch in. It's so easy to take for granted that people actually listen to what you have to say and take action on it. It's so easy to take for granted the simple fact that you actually have followers! 

It's so easy to assume that this opportunity is something you earned. It's so easy to assume that no one could ever take this away from you. It's so easy to assume that people will always want you to lead them. 

But the reality is, in a moment, it could all change. Moral failure. Financial misconduct. Relational strife. Health complications. Arrogance. Pride. Jealousy. Greed. Re-location. Re-organization. Re-alignment. Re-placement. Budget cuts. Buyouts. Backouts. Burnout. There are many ways in which the leadership opportunity you have today can be gone tomorrow.

I write these things not to scare you, but to remind you of just how blessed and privileged you are to have the influence that you presently have. In an effort to keep a grateful attitude towards the leadership opportunity you've been given, I recommend three things:

1. ENJOY IT.

Enjoy the meetings. Enjoy the conversations. Enjoy the brainstorming sessions. Enjoy the "tough conversations." Enjoy the challenge. Enjoy your leadership journey. Enjoy it now because you don't want to regret not having enjoyed it later.

2. APPRECIATE IT.

Appreciate the opportunity. Appreciate the privilege. Appreciate the influence. Appreciate your team. Appreciate your organization. Appreciate your supporters. Appreciate your leadership journey. Appreciate it now because you don't want to regret not having appreciated it later.

3. MAXIMIZE IT.

Maximize the impact. Maximize the influence. Maximize the reach.  Maximize the depth. Maximize the productivity. Maximize the profit. Maximize the relationships. Maximize your leadership journey. Maximize it now because you don't want to regret not having maximized it later.

Enjoy your leadership opportunity. Appreciate your leadership opportunity. Maximize your leadership opportunity. Because when this season of your life is through, you'll look back and be glad you did! 

Why do you think it's so easy for leaders to take their leadership position for granted? Please leave your comments below, I'd really like to know!