#351 - OBSTACLE TO AWE #4 - BUSYNESS

8–10 hours a day. 6–7 days a week. 52 weeks a year.

We’ve all been there before.

We have to-do lists at work that overwhelm. Unprepared presentations. Unreturned phone calls. Unresponded to emails. Unfinished projects.

We have to-do lists at home that never end. The kids always need something. The house always needs to be cleaned. Dinner always need to be made. Laundry always needs to be done.

We have to-do lists for life that rarely seem to be fully under control. Bills to pay. Relationships to manage. Health to take care of. Education to complete.

There’s just no time for awe.

No time for awe of opportunities presented. No time for awe of progress made. No time for awe of accomplishments completed. And the problem is, if we don’t make time to be in awe of the things we see, it’s very unlikely that we will make the time to be in awe of the things we don’t see.

God’s love.
God’s grace.
God’s faithfulness.

At least this was my experience.

I was too busy with everything to be amazed by anything.

Too busy trying to get my “ducks in a row.” Too busy trying to get my “house in order.” Too busy trying not to “put all my eggs in one basket.” All the cliche’s applied. And, unfortunately, so did this one…

“If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.”

Though I was committed to doing “God’s work.” Though I was involved in pursuing “God’s purposes.” Though I was seemingly accomplishing “God’s will.” The tragedy is that, in it all, I wasn’t aware of God’s goodness. I wasn’t amazed at God’s grace. I wasn’t in awe of God’s glory.

Like Martha and unlike Mary, I was too busy using my hands when I should’ve been sitting at Christ’s feet. I was too busy serving God’s purposes when I should’ve been savoring God’s presence. I was too busy working when I should’ve been making more time for worship.

In future blog posts, I will talk about how to avoid this obstacle of busyness, but in the mean time I encourage you to consider and reflect upon the following questions:

Are you too busy with everything to be amazed by anything? Is your busyness for God an obstacle to your awe of God?

#350 - OBSTACLE TO AWE #3 - IGNORANCE

Chicken and Waffles.

For the longest time, it was just a decent dish to me. An interesting combination of tastes, but nothing I would ever go out of my way to eat. Whether it was the spot in Jack London Square, Merritt Bakery, or the famous Roscoe’s, each restaurant pretty much made them the same, and as time went on, I found myself desiring them less and less. I was disinterested.

And then my wife and I visited the Brown Sugar Kitchen in Oakland, California.

Their Chicken and Waffles were unlike anything I’d ever tasted. Their unique, corn-meal based waffles were incredible, their apple-cider inspired syrup was delicious and their flavorfully seasoned chicken is, probably, the best chicken I have ever eaten in my life. And I am not exaggerating.

I had no idea that Chicken and Waffles could taste so good! I was ignorant to the potential of the dish, and that ignorance impacted my interest.

In short,

Ignorance impedes interest.

And our ignorance does this to us all the time. In every area of our lives…

We think we know how good a particular food is going to taste. We think we know how interesting a particular person is going to be. We think we know how fulfilling a particular experience is going to feel.

And if we make the judgement call that a food, person or experience isn’t going to be so great, we’re uninterested.

The problem is, sometimes we make the wrong call.

And I definitely made the wrong call when it came to Jesus Christ.

To me, for the most part, placing my faith in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of my sins meant that, when I died, I would avoid eternal punishment in Hell and, instead, go to Heaven. In other words, the primary benefit to my faith in Jesus Christ and identification as a Christian was, basically, “fire insurance.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I also understood the additional benefits of being a Christian included being in a relationship with a God who was “there for you” and “heard your prayers” and those benefits were something I appreciated. Growing up with the idea that, in Christ, I had a Savior, Comforter, and Friend was very reassuring, but, if the truth be told, these truths very rarely had me in awe of God.

Growing up in church, I can’t ever recall being brought to a more full understanding of the deeper implications that my faith should have on my life. If anything, the more I attended church and listened to sermons, the more indebted I felt to God. The more guilty I felt for my inability to overcome sin. The more overwhelmed I felt at the pressure of having to be a “good Christian.”

And so I made a judgement call — Christianity was burdensome and unfulfilling.

But in hindsight, I can now see that my understanding was so limited. My view was so short-sighted. My comprehension was so elementary.

I allowed my negative experience with church to cause me to have a narrow view of God.

I assumed that what I had seen and experienced provided enough information for me to make a decision on who God was and what His purposes were.

In future blog posts, I will write about many of the beauties of the Christian message that have me more excited about my faith than I am about Brown Sugar Kitchen’s Chicken and Waffles! But in the mean time, I encourage you to think about the following questions:

Is it possible that your disinterest in God could be attributed to a bad experience or to a limited understanding of who God is? Is it possible that God and His love for humanity is much more amazing than you think? Is it possible that the judgement call you have made about God is wrong?

#349 - OBSTACLE TO AWE #2 - DISAPPOINTMENT

Like the child who throws a fit in the toy store because his parents do not get him what he wants. Like the employee who resents the boss who does not give him the promotion. Like the wife who gives her spouse the cold shoulder because she does not receive the birthday present she was expecting…

Disappointment disturbs delight.

And though I was unaware of it at the time, this principle was at work within my relationship with God as well.

You see, I had expectations.

I was supposed to serve God and, in gladly doing so, I had a guarantee that He would serve me. I was supposed to give to God and, in consistently doing so, I could be sure that He would give to me. I was supposed to pray to God and, in humbly doing so, He would answer.

I was under the impression that if I served God, I would secure my happiness. I believed if I loved God, I would always feel His love for me. I thought that if I was committed to God, I could somehow control His hand.

Have you ever had similar feelings or expectations?

But, after over 15 years of living my life in this way, it didn’t seem to be working out like I thought it would. I wasn’t experiencing the benefits I thought I would experience by committing my life to Christ.

I was disappointed.

Areas of letdown and disappointment with God could be found in the following areas of my life:

1. Finances — It was very hard to be in awe of a God who I perceived wasn’t bringing into my life the type of financial security and success that I believed He had promised me.
2. Career — I found it very difficult to worship a God who I perceived wasn’t furthering along and blessing the career that I believed He had called me to pursue!
3. Relationships — It was tough to praise a God who I perceived was removing relationships from my life that I believed He had placed into my life in the first place.

And there is no doubt in my mind that these disappointments became a major obstacle to my awe of God.

It became very hard for me to joyfully lift God up because I felt He had consistently let me down.

It’s difficult to be in wonder of someone who you conclude isn’t being very wonderful. It’s difficult to praise someone who you conclude isn’t acting very praiseworthy. It’s difficult to be in awe of someone who you conclude is being awful.

In future posts, I will discuss how we can avoid and overcome the “obstacle of awe” known as disappointment, but in the mean time I encourage you to consider the following questions:

How have you been disappointed by God? How have those disappointments impacted the awe and wonder you have of God?

#348 - OBSTACLE TO AWE #1 - FAMILIARITY

Like the married couple who’s celebrating their 25th Anniversary, but find themselves sitting across from each other at a fine restaurant with nothing to say. Like the factory worker who can do his job without even thinking because he’s done it so long, but yearns to find another career. Like the young woman who has a closet full of clothes, but, every morning, finds herself saying, “I have nothing to wear.” Familiarity breeds contempt.

Or in other words…

Time with, threatens appreciation for.

And I found this to be true with my relationship with God.

After participating in a countless number of services, Sunday School classes, Bible Studies, Summer Camps, Winter Retreats, and every other church activity you could think of, everything became so familiar.

The songs — Amazing Grace, Nothing But the Blood, How Great Thou Art, Refiner’s Fire, I Could Sing of Your Love Forever, Mighty to Save, Hosanna…the list goes on and on. I was familiar with them all.

The stories — Adam and Eve, The Exodus, Joseph, David and Goliath, Jonah and “The Whale,” Samson and Delilah, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, The Walls of Jericho, The Birth of Jesus, The Prodigal Son, The Crucifixion, The Resurrection…so many stories. So much familiarity.

The verses — “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth…,” “For God so loved the world…,” “For the wages of sin is death…,” “The Lord is my shepherd…,” “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…,” “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…” I had to memorize so many! And with memorization came even more familiarity.

And then I started organizing services, teaching Sunday School classes, facilitating Bible Studies, speaking at Summer Camps, and planning Winter Retreats, and leading every other church activity you could think of. This brought the familiarity with the songs, stories, verses, and all of the other things connected with church culture to a whole new level!

But if the truth be told, in the midst of it all there was very little awe.

Don’t get me wrong, there were moments of awe, but because of my familiarity with the content there was very little amazement, wonder and appreciation for the content.

My familiarity with the lyrics to the songs, many times, resulted in me singing without experiencing the life in the songs.

My familiarity with the practical applications of a Bible story, caused me to miss out on many of the powerful implications the story should have on my life.

My familiarity with all the things that Jesus said, led me to very rarely think about all the things that Jesus actually meant.

My familiarity with how to put on a service, very often, prevented me from participating in a service.

In hindsight, I realized…

As the things of God became more familiar, one’s awe of God can become unfamiliar.

Does your awe of God need to be rescued from familiarity?

#347 - 32

Throughout the years, my birthday has always been a day when I take the time to reflect upon God's goodness and grace in my life during the past year. But this year is a little different. 

As I get older, I am more and more aware of the uncertainty and brevity of my life. I am more and more aware of what truly matters and what doesn't. It is with that in mind that I wanted to take a moment to think about 3 lessons that I've learned during my life that, if I was on my deathbed, I would want to communicate to those that I love. 3 lessons that I hope to embrace for as long as God would give me the privilege to live. 

Here are those 3 lessons. I hope they encourage and they serve you well.

1. God's Grace is Sufficient.

For 32 years I have fallen short of God's perfect standard. I have, on many occasions, not loved my wife like Christ loved the Church. I have not been the best brother to my siblings. I have not been the best son to my parents. I have not been the best leader/pastor to those who have graciously looked to my leadership. I have not been the best friend to those who have called me friend. I have made promises I didn't keep. I have had selfish motivations. I have not loved and served those around me like I could have and should have. 

But, in the midst of my daily struggle with sin, the first lesson I have learned is that God's grace is sufficient. God's grace is adequate. God's grace is enough. God's grace is plenty.

For 32 years, God's grace has been there every time I have fallen. God's grace has been there every time I have felt distant. God's grace has been there every time I have felt unworthy. The truth is, I have been aware of God's grace the most, when I have deserved it the least. 

And it is this amazing grace of God that does for me what nothing else can do for me:

It picks me up right where I fall.
It makes me whole right where I am empty.
It pushes me forward right in the direction that I need to go next.
And it does this for me, day after day, without fail. 

But here's what you need to know about God's grace - it's all made possible by Jesus.  I don't receive this grace because I deserve it, I receive this grace because Jesus earned it.

Through my faith in the life, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ, not only is the penalty of my sins paid for, but the righteous requirement needed to have a relationship with God is fulfilled. Because Jesus lived the perfect life that I need to live, because Jesus died the death that I should have to die, through faith in Him I can have an unbroken relationship with God, despite my ongoing struggle with sin. This is the gospel of grace. My only responsibility is to trust it. 

This grace is sufficient for me and, through faith in Jesus Christ, it can be sufficient for you.

2. God's Will is Perfect.

For 27 years, I wanted to do it my way. I wanted to pursue my plans. I wanted to pursue my purposes. 

And then, when I did "surrender" to God's will for my life, I wanted to do God's will my way. I wanted God's will to happen in my timing. I wanted God's will to happen under my circumstances. I wanted God's will to produce my results. 

But, at about 28 years old, the best way I knew how, I surrendered completely to God's will for my life. Every plan, every dream, every ambition, every hope, every desire. I came to a place where I wanted what God wanted for my life, in EVERY area of my life, more than I wanted what I wanted for my life. And it is through that act of surrender (and many acts of surrender since!) that I can, with conviction, say that God's will is perfect.

Without mistake. Without error. God's will for my vocation...perfect. God's will for my provision...perfect. God's will for my position...perfect. God's will for my results...perfect. God's will for my connections...perfect. God's will for my abilities...perfect. God's will for my suffering...perfect. God's will for my inadequacies...perfect. God's will for my pain...perfect. Whether in my eyes it's good, bad or ugly, God's will done God's way is perfect. My only responsibility is to trust it. 

By experience, I'm convinced, God's will is better than my will. God's will is more fulfilling than my will. God's will ismore robust than my will. God's will is more long-sightedthan my will. God's will is more life-giving than my will. God's will is perfect.

One more word on this. If you may be wondering, "What is God's will for my life?" I would encourage you by saying:

God's will for your life is your moment by moment obedience to the things He's leading you to do. Just do the last thing He's led you to do. Then and only then will He reveal the next thing. Do these things without fear or hesitation. Why? Because they'reperfect.

3. God's Hand is Not Short.

For 32 years, I have seen God provide exactly what I need, exactly when I needed it. He has provided things I knew I needed and He has graciously provided things I had no ideaI needed. And it is through years and years of God providing financial resources, relational resources, spiritual resources, emotional resources, and physical resources that I can, without a doubt, proclaim...God's hand is not short.

For many years, I've believed in faith that...

If it's God's will, it's God's bill.
Where God guides, God provides.
What the King wants, the King pays for. 

But it's only after the last 10 years of experience that I can say...these things are absolutely true! 

God will provide for His purposes.

When I needed people for God's purposes...God provided. When I needed a platform for God's purposes...God provided. When I needed money for God's purposes...God provided. When I needed insight for God's purposes...God provided. When I needed understanding for God's purposes...God provided.

It may have been at the last minute. It may have been just enough. It may have not come in the form I thought it was going to come. But God always has provided for His purposes.  

And because God is no respecter of persons, there is no doubt in my mind that God will provide for all of the purposes He has for your life as well. Your only responsibility is to trust Him.

God's grace is sufficient. Trust Him. God will is perfect. Trust Him. God's hand is not short. Trust Him. 

In 32 years of living, I have not regretted a single day that I have lived in complete surrender and trust in God. In the greatest act of love every recorded in human history, God gave His one and only Son, Jesus Christ...for me and for you. How could you not trust a Heavenly Father who loves you that much?

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Thanks for taking the time to read through these three lessons. If they've been an encouragement to you and if you think they may be an encouragement to others would you please click the "SHARE" button below? Thanks!

#346 - THE REASON WHY I'M RICH

You know the generous grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that by his poverty he could make you rich. - 2 Corinthians 8:9

Jesus was bruised and beaten so that I could live whole and healed.
Jesus experienced a brutal death so that I could enjoy a beautiful life.
Jesus left the comforts of Heaven so that I could be comforted on earth.
Jesus gave everything He had so I could, one day, enjoy everything He has.
Jesus was condemned by God once, so that I could be approved by God forever.
Jesus was declared guilty before men so that I could be found innocent before God.
Jesus was forsaken by God, for a moment, so that I could be embraced by God, for a lifetime.
Jesus took the punishment for my sin so that I could inherit the blessing of his righteousness.

In the final analysis, Jesus became poor so that I could become rich!

But unless what Jesus did for me is profoundly impacting how I treat others, what He has done for me has not accomplished its' purpose completely.

Jesus loved lavishly so that I could lavishly love.
Jesus forgave freely so that I could freely forgive.
Jesus gave generously so that I could generously give.
Jesus sacrificed selflessly so that I could selflessly sacrifice.
Jesus persevered patiently so that I could patiently persevere.

But Jesus didn't do these things just to be another source of inspiration, He did these things so that He might become the power behind my transformation.

#345 - LAUNCH DAY REFLECTION

Yesterday was incredible.

There are so many things I could share about the emotion and experience of officially launching a church, but there were one set of experiences in particular that brought me a tremendous amount of joy — hearing the positive feedback about our service from our first-time guests from Oakland.

Responses like:

“Usually reading the Bible is hard for me, but you made it come alive!” “I haven’t been a part of a church in years, but I’m so glad I came today.” “We’ve been looking for a church that both us and our kids can grow in.” “We already texted our friends, who also live in Oakland and are looking for a church, to check you guys out!” “Thank you for doing this, will your messages be available online so I can listen to them when I’m out of town?”

And my favorite response of all,

“We loved it and we’ll be back next week!”

These responses mean so much to me because the mission statement of our church is “To overwhelm Oakland with love.”

Now, I understand that it is going to take a tremendous about of time, energy and resources before our community of faith actually overwhelms the city of Oakland with the love of Christ in such a way where the city feels it in practical ways, but I am so thankful and blessed that, yesterday, during our Grand Opening Service, we took a forward step in that direction!

Our church was started in the city of Oakland, for the city of Oakland therefore every time we make a positive impact and impression on the people actually living in Oakland, I am going to celebrate!

#344 - A TOUGH TENSION TO MANAGE

I have to prepare myself for the voices.

Voices telling me that, as it relates to my preaching, I should be doing more of this and less of that. Voices telling me that, as it relates to my leadership, I should be doing more of this and less of that. Voices telling me that, as it relates to my dealing with people, I should be doing more of this and less of that.

Voices telling me that, as it relates to our church programs, we should be doing more of this and less of that. Voices telling me that, as it relates to our style of music, we should be doing more of this and less of that. Voices telling me that as it relates to our method of ministry, we should be doing more of this and less of that.

And because all of the voices I will encounter will not necessarily be all good or all bad...

I'm going to have to learn how to manage the tension between leading boldly while still listening carefully.

Because...

I don't have all the answers.
I'm not aware of all the best practices.
I don't have as much experience as others.

But at the same time,

God has placed a calling on my life.
God has placed a vision in my heart.
God has placed a gift in my hands.

Though I don't know it all, there are some things I do know and I can't allow the voices to cause me to question the things God has clearly called me to do.

Leading boldly and listening carefully - though it will be a difficult tension to manage, it will also be a tension that will cause me to listen ever so closely to the one voice that matters most...God's.

#343 - MY ONE LAUNCH SERVICE DESIRE

Though there are many things that I'd like to see take place during our church's Grand Opening Service, there is only one thing that I am intentionally praying for: the presence of God. 

Do I want to see a lot of people show up...of course.
Do I want people to enjoy the worship experience...absolutely.
Do I want the message to be impactful and memorable...for sure.
Do I want people to be touched by the testimony and baptism...no doubt!

But if those things all take place without the presence of God, in my mind, we have failed.

Only the presence of God can change a heart.
Only the presence of God can save a soul.
Only the presence of God renew a mind.

Only in the presence of God can one experience the power of God.

And it is my desire that everyone in attendance, from skeptic to saint, experiences the presence and power of God.

This past week, I came across a prayer that Moses prayed in the days leading up to the time when he was to lead the people of Israel into the Promised Land. It is this prayer that I am going to be intentionally and intensely praying this week and I would like to invite you to join me in praying the same prayer as we prepare to launch our church. Thank you in advance for your support!

"If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth? Exodus 33:15-16

#342 - GOD'S TIMING IS PERFECT

I worry.

I worry about whether or not enough people will show up. I worry about the quality and clarity of my message. I worry about the quality of our music. I worry about whether or not we will have enough financial resources to continue doing ministry. I worry about finding a permanent meeting space.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't worry about these things constantly and I don't worry about these things to a point where I'm depressed, but I'd be lying if I told you that these were things I was not concerned about.

But in the midst of all these "worries," I am reminded of Isaiah's words concerning the character of God in Isaiah 55:8-9:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

God's ways are better than my ways. God's thoughts arebetter than my thoughts. Not only are they better but they are so much better!

And because this is true, it can also be said that God's timing is so much better than my timing!

God's timing is perfect.

And it is with that profound truth in mind that I can trust that:

The timing in which He's going to save various types of lives...perfect.
The timing in which He's going to draw certain numbers of people...perfect.
The timing in which He's going to provide a permanent meeting space...perfect.
The timing in which He's going to bring in the required amounts of finances...perfect.

The timing in which He's going to address any other concern or worry that I have...perfect.

God's timing is perfect. My timing is not.

Therefore...

I must trust...Him.

#341 - THE SECRET I'M EXCITED TO SHARE!

I have never been more excited about giving a message in my life!

Today I began putting the slides together for the message I will be giving at our Grand Opening Service on September 15, and as the message began to come together in my head, I became overwhelmed with an excitement to preach like never before!

I'm excited because I feel like I have an incredible secret to share! 

In the teaching series we did through our Preview Service, Freed from Religion, I felt that I had an incredible secret to share about what the message of Christianity is. But for our next series, The Secret Heart of Christianity, I feel that I have an incredible secret to share about who the message of Jesus Christ is for!

For so long I felt that the message of Jesus Christ was for immoral and irreligious people who needed to get their act together! And though the message of Christianity is, to a certain extent, for those kind of people, the message of Jesus Christ is MORE for a whole other category of people who I'm convinced don't even know that the message is for them!

I'm so excited to share this incredible secret! 

I anticipate that it will be a pleasant surprise to people who don't believe in Christ and an even bigger surprise to those who do!

#340 - I FEEL SUPPORTED

There is no doubt that the journey that I have embarked upon, as a Lead Pastor of a brand-new church in the city of Oakland, is going to be a difficult one. Though this journey will include many joys, victories and successes, I am also aware of the fact that there are also going to be various obstacles, disappointments, frustrations and hurts. Pain will be present.

But tonight, I am comforted by the reality that, even in the midst of any present or future pain, I am supported.

I am supported by a group of people who love me, believe in me and are fully committed to my pursuit of God's call on my life.

These people include:

• My Wife - the one who's support I could not live without.
• My Family - the group of people who knew me and loved me before I was "Pastor Edward."
• My Sending Church - the group of people who originally confirmed and continually affirm God's calling on me to plant a church.
• My Core Team - the group of people who are in the trenches with me week in and week out.
• My Partner Churches - the group of churches who believe in the vision God has given theMOVEMENT and are supporting it with prayer, provision and people!

And last but not least...

• My Savior - the One who has promised that because He began a good work in me, He will be faithful to complete it!

I am so thankful for the many people who stand behind me and beside me as I pursue the call of God on my life. It is because of them that, even in the midst of fear and uncertainty, I can move forward with courage and boldness!

#339 - WORK IS WAITING

We rested. We shopped. We ate. We watched movies. I read. We rafted together down the American River. Then we rested some more. Shopped some more. Ate some more. Watched more movies. And then I read some more. In summary, our vacation was awesome.

But now our vacation is over, and it's time to get back to work.

Work is waiting.

Services need to be planned. Sermons need to be written. Directions need to be given. Expectations need to be communicated. Videos need to be recorded. Phone calls need to be made. Invitations need to be extended. Funds need to be raised. Meetings need to be scheduled. Volunteers need to be recruited. Orders need to be placed. Emails need to be sent. Presentations need to be prepared. Things need to get done.

As it pertains to successfully starting a church, a lot of work is waiting.

But as I prepare myself to jump back into the work that is before me, I am reminded of Luke's writings about the early church in Acts 6:1-4:

Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.”

Though a lot of work is waiting, I must be crystal clear on the work that is waiting for me.

Will I "serve tables?" Absolutely.

But the truth I must embrace (and not feel guilty about) as the Lead Pastor of this church is stated best by Matthew Henry in his commentary on this passage, I "must be God’s mouth to the people in the ministry of the word, and the people’s mouth to God in prayer."

Stated more simply: Prayer and preaching - this is my priority.

#338 - ONE LAST VACATION IS NECESSARY

A transition is coming.

In a little over two weeks, the pace and rhythm of my life will change drastically. On Sunday, September 15 we will launch theMOVEMENT, and the biggest implications that this will have on my life are these: every single Sunday from that Sunday forward there will be a weekly service that I am going to be responsible for overseeing, a 35-40 minute message that I am going to be responsible for preaching and a congregation of people who I am going to be responsible for shepherding.

I don't think I am even fully aware of the impact that this change is going to have on my life.

But I do know this...one last vacation is necessary!

One last getaway with my wife before the expectations that people have of us shift. One last trip with my wife before the responsibilities that I have increase. One last vacation with my wife before the luxury of taking a Sunday off will no longer be an option (at least any time soon)!

It is with all of this in mind that I have made the decision that on this vacation,

I am not going to do any work.
I am not going to do any writing.
I am not going to engage with social media.

Instead,

I'm going to rest.
I'm going to relax.
I'm going to rejuvenate.

I'm going to learn more about my wife.
I'm going to enjoy the company of my wife.
I'm going to experience new things with my wife.

In addition to celebrating our birthdays and our 9-year anniversary, together, we're going to think through how in this next season of our lives we're going to grow our personal relationships with Christ, take care of our health, grow our marriage and lead this church in such a way that is healthy and sustainable over a long period of time.

Because the big idea is simply this: It is an impossibility for unhealthy leaders to lead anything in a healthy way. 

#337 - IT'S HARD TO TELL THE TRUTH

Telling the truth is not always the easiest thing for me to do.

Especially when it comes to telling others the truth about my personal mistakes and shortcomings and telling the truth to others about their mistakes and shortcomings.

It's much easier to avoid.
It's much easier to pretend.
It's much easier to sugar coat.
It's much easier to exaggerate.
It's much easier to...lie.

But, though lying (even little white lies) may be easier in the short-run, I'm realizing more and more that it isn't beneficial in the long run.

Lies destroy trust. Lies divide people. Lies dilute reality.

Lies create an inaccurate perception.
Lies foster an unauthentic relationship.
Lies result in an unhealthy environment.

But though I may be aware of the consequences of lying, it's still very difficult at times to tell the truth. There is a perceived image that I have the desire to protect. There is a perceived persona that I have the desire to uphold. There is an unhealthy desire to be accepted by others. There is an unhealthy fear that telling the truth may result in a loss of respect or position. And it is all these things in tandem that make truth-telling a challenge.

But I've recently made a very important decision that I hope guides me for the rest of my life, and the decision is this:

I would rather tell the truth leaving it up to God to restore the reputation I once had than tell a lie leaving it up to myself to protect a reputation I no longer deserve.

#336 - I MUST LEAD

Sometimes I shrink back.

I don't want the people I work with to think I have control issues. I don't want our team to feel like I'm micromanaging them. I don't want my staff to feel like I'm overbearing. So I shrink back.

I, often times, look for consensus when no consensus is needed. I, often times, look for feedback when no feedback is necessary. I, often times, look for approval when approval wouldn't add value. I stall. I hesitate. I wait.

And what ends up happening is this:

When I shrink back, the organization slows down.

This has to stop.

I must lead.

I must make the decisions no one else can make. I must think about the things that no one else can think about. I must set the goals that no one else can set. I must develop the plans that no one else can develop. I must do the things that only I can do. I must lead.

I have been called, qualified and commissioned to do this work. I must lead.

There is no doubt that I must lead humbly, patiently and prayerfully, but the fact still remains: I must lead.

By shrinking back from this responsibility, it is not humility that I am showcasing. Instead, I am exhibiting poor stewardship of the calling, gifts and opportunities that I have been given.

In the final analysis, there is only one thing that separates our organization from accomplishing the purpose for which it exists: courageous and effective leadership.

#335 - IT JUST DAWNED ON ME

Today, I had the opportunity of facilitating and executing my very first “Yearly Sermon Series Planning Meeting.” This was a meeting in which I, along with my Executive Pastor and a couple of other leaders in our church, thought through and planned out all of the topics and subjects we will be preaching through December of 2014!

And though having a pretty good idea of what I am going to be preaching about throughout the next year brings me a certain amount of clarity and comfort, after completing the meeting, it dawned on me that I will preach on, approximately, 57 of the next 67 Sundays! That’s crazy!

And then after the thought of how crazy that is crossed my mind, several other thoughts began to race through my head:

Am I adequately qualified to preach about all of these subjects?
Will the church get tired of hearing me week after week after week?
Will I have the ability to make Jesus the hero in every message I preach?
How well will I juggle leading the day to day operations and weekly sermon prep?

Before me lies a responsibility and challenge that I have yet to face in my lifetime, but my peace and confidence rests in the truth that “my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

#334 - I'M UNSURE

I’m not quite sure what to do.

In several weeks, we are going to be officially launching theMOVEMENT. And though this is a day that I’m excited about and have been anticipating for three years, this fact is going to result in responsibilities that I have never had before.

1. I am going to be responsible for leading a team to plan and execute weekly services.

2. I am going to be responsible for disciplining myself to plan and prepare weekly messages.

3. I am going to be responsible for creating systems and processes to engage new people with the mission of our movement.

Now don’t get me wrong, these are all things that I am not only excited about doing, but they are things that I am also being paid to do!

What I am unsure about is whether or not I’m going to attempt to go to school this semester while taking on these new responsibilities.

I have a unique opportunity to go to a school that is accredited, affordable and awesome but, the reality is, I’m not sure I can give the launch of this church my best efforts and energy while taking several college level courses! I am sure that God has called me to lead and plant this church, but I am almost equally sure that God has called me to pursue and complete my B.A. in Pastoral Studies.

What am I to do?

Because I need to make a decision sooner than later, over the next several days I am going to pray the prayer that God has faithfully answered time and time again,

Dear Heavenly Father, please give me the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

#333 - 31 - PART TWO

Today I turned 31 making tomorrow the first day of the 32nd year of my life.

And though last year was, by far, the best year of my life, it is my hope and prayer that this year will be even better.

But for this year to be even better than the last, I must be intentional and focused. With that said, here are three things I'm going to prioritize in my life this upcoming year.

1. Loving Jesus out of a greater understanding of His love for me. This year I want to grow in my understanding of Christ's love for me. I aim to do this by taking my commitment to reading God's Word to another level. It is through a deeper commitment to God's Word that I will come to a greater awareness of who Christ is and how wide His love for me reaches.
    

2. Loving my wife like Christ loved the Church. As I grow in my understanding of Christ love for me and His Church, I will love my wife more deeply and selflessly. It is my intention that by the end of the year, my wife will be able to proudly say that I have loved her like Christ loved the Church more than ever before.
    

3. Taking care of my body out of a greater understanding that it is the only one I will ever have. As I get older, I realize that taking care of my health is more important than ever before. This year, I will make an even greater commitment to my health than I will to the leading of the church. The truth is, I cannot be spiritually healthy leader if I am a physically unhealthy leader.

I look forward to this blog being a home for much of my reflections on how I am living up to these priorities and commitments this upcoming year!

#332 - SAYING "YES" MATTERS

Over the last several years I have continually said, "Yes" to exchanging my hopes and dreams for my life for God's plans and purposes for my life.

I shut down a non-profit organization I had started. I transitioned into full-time vocational ministry. I remained faithful with a student ministry and young adult ministry. I followed through with the decision to plant a church. I built a team to plant with me. I committed to plant in the city of Oakland. I moved to the city of Oakland. I went back to school to complete my BA in Pastoral Studies. I raised an "impossible" amount of funds. And I am currently doing my best to create a church that people who don't like church like to attend.

I'm so glad I have said "Yes."

I could have said "No." I could have made excuses. I could have waited. I could have let the obstacles, setbacks and challenges discourage me. I could have allowed fear to win.

But by the grace of God, I said, "Yes" and I'm so glad that I did! Because tonight, I'm convinced to a degree that I have never been before that:

Every time I say "Yes" to God's will for my life, I am saying "Yes" to God's best for my life!

It's amazing to think that a simple three-letter word could change my life for the better in ways that I could have never imagined.

The challenge that I have before me today is to continue to say "Yes" to God's purposes and plans for my life especially when it would be much more convenient to say...No.