#459 - THE FEW VS. THE MANY

There will always be the few. Who criticize. Who despise. Those who are literally watching and waiting to see you fail. Secretly, they scroll your social media accounts hoping that they can pick up on some sort of clue that things aren't going as well for you as you'd like them to! 

There will always be the few. Who judge. Who gossip. Those who would rather see you fail than see themselves succeed. Unfortunately, they place more of their emotional energy on critiquing you than creating for themselves.   

But my encouragement to you today is simply this:

Don't let the hate you receive from "the few," steal your joy from the love you receive from "the many."

Focus your attention on the many. Who love. Who appreciate. Those who want to see you succeed! Openly, they scroll your social media accounts liking and loving the things that you post because seeing you happy makes them happy!

Focus your attention on the many. Who receive. Who affirm. Those who understand that you being great takes nothing away from them being great! Joyfully, they encourage you knowing that your success feeds into their success. 

Leader, you have a choice. To be distracted by "the few" or to be motivated by "the many."

I encourage you to be motivated by "the many." Because the reality is, if you become too distracted by "the few," "the many" will soon become the "the neglected."

#458 - THE ONE KEY TO PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL GROWTH

The following is a difficult truth that I wish wasn't a reality, but I have a choice to either lean into it and grow or reject it and never become all that God created me to become. I have a choice to either receive it gladly and mature or pretend it is not true and remain immature. The truth is this: 

I will only grow to the degree that I lead myself to be made uncomfortable. 

Example include:

• I will only grow in my endurance to run longer distances when I lead myself to be made uncomfortable by adding miles to my "long run" each Saturday. 

• I will only grow in my discipline to manage my money when I lead myself to be made uncomfortable by delayed gratification.

• I will only grow in my capacity to lead a large organization when I lead myself to be made uncomfortable by delegating tasks, responsibilities, and authority to other leaders.

• I will only grow in my authority to preach boldly when I lead myself to be made uncomfortable by proclaiming the truths of God's Word that I know may not be "seeker sensitive" or "socially acceptable."

• I will only grow in my ability to love my wife sacrificially when I lead myself to be made uncomfortable by serving her at inopportune times and in inconvenient ways. 

• I will only grow in my willingness to forgive when I lead myself to be made uncomfortable by extending continual forgiveness to those who I feel deserve it the least. 

• I will only grow in my resolve to believe God for the impossible when I lead myself to be made uncomfortable by pursuing dreams, goals, and objectives that without His intervention I would fail. 

• I will only grow in my effectiveness to pastor others when I lead myself to be made uncomfortable by listening when I no longer want to listen and by saying what I fear being said. 

How are you leading yourself to be made uncomfortable? 

As it relates to your health, finances, leadership, vocation, relationships, faith, etc. what circumstances, situations, and opportunities are you placing yourself in that you know will cause you discomfort but will also force you to grow?

You must lead yourself through the desert of discomfort if you desire to enjoy the oasis of growth. 

Discomfort. Growth. Discomfort. Growth. Discomfort. Growth. This is a pattern for life that if you choose to embrace it can produce results that you never thought possible. It is also a pattern for life that if you avoid, will result in the following happening by default: Comfort. Stagnation. Comfort. Stagnation. Comfort. Stagnation.   

The bottom line is this:

You can have comfort or you can have growth, but you can't have both!

Which will YOU choose today?

#456 - PASTOR, GET CARE

Pastor, you need to be cared for. You need to be listened to. You need to be heard. You need to be ministered to. You need a safe place where it is OK to talk about how you're really feeling. As an under-shepherd to the Good Shepherd, you need to be shepherded.

I've found one of the best places to receive this type of care is from other under-shepherds like yourself. Meet with another pastor in your city. Join a network of pastors. Connect with other pastors online. Do something. GET CARE. The quality of your care for others depends on it.

Additionally, pastor, you need to care for another pastor. A younger pastor. A newer pastor. A lonely pastor. You need to find a pastor who isn't being cared for and care for them. Minister to them. Ask them questions. Share your resources. Invest your time. GIVE CARE. In some ways, the quality of that pastor's care for their flock depends on your care for them. 

Too many of us are dried up spiritually, failing morally, unhealthy physically, and burnt out emotionally. Too many of us live lives of isolation, and it is only a matter of time before the enemy picks us off in the same way a lion can kill an elephant that has wandered away from its' herd.

Pastor, get care and give care. Soon. Our collective ability to carry out our task faithfully requires our commitment to these things. 

I write these words with deep conviction because in my 10+ years of volunteer/vocational ministry, I have had pastors who have extended care to me and their investment of time, effort, and energy has been a precious gift that has made all the difference in my ability to continue to be faithful to my call. 

As a pastor who cares for others, I am surrounded by pastors who care for me. 

Pastors, let's make it our goal to make this every pastor's reality. 

#455 - CHURCH PLANTER BEWARE

The money you'll raise...
The team you'll build...
The Sunday Services you'll execute...
The people you'll attract...
The baptisms you'll witnesses...
The babies you'll dedicate...
The weddings you'll officiate...
The small groups you'll start...
The life change you'll see...
The growth you'll experience...
The compliments you'll receive...
The challenges you'll overcome...
The leaders you'll develop...
The conferences you'll attend...
The impact you'll have...

It will all be very fulfilling. But, it will never be enough. 

Though you may think that your deepest longings and desires will be satisfied through the accomplishments of your ministry, it is a lie that you must not allow yourself to believe. 

If you believe this lie, your ministry will become like a drug addiction and your efforts will only be a means to experiencing your next high. The problem is, it will never be enough.   

No amount of money, baptisms, changed lives, growth, leaders, or influence will satisfy you. 

True and complete satisfaction comes not from accumulating the work we do for Christ, but from enjoying the work Christ did for us. 

Christ's work to save you.
Christ's work to redeem you.
Christ's work to cleanse you.
Christ's work to justify you.
Christ's work to adopt you.
Christ's work to choose you!

Christ's work for you will satisfy you like no work for Him every will! 

The irony is, the more in awe, wonder, and reverence we are of Christ's work for us, the more effective our work for Christ will be! The more satisfied we are in Christ, the better positioned we are to lead others to experience the satisfaction of Christ! The more at rest we are in what Christ has already done for us, the more at rest we will be in accomplishing what we have yet to do for Christ!

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. Colossians 2:9-10

#454 - HOW TO EXERCISE PASTORAL PATIENCE

Whether you are a pastor or not, it is very likely that, each day, you are given the opportunity to "exercise patience" with your friends, family, co-workers, and, most difficult of all, your Facebook "friends!"

Everyday, you are challenged to exhibit patience with those who say one thing and do another. Everyday, you are challenged to exemplify patience with those who do things differently than you do. Everyday, you are challenged to extend patience to those who strongly believe things you don't believe and express their beliefs in ways that frustrate you.

The opportunities to exercise patience with the people in our lives are endless!

For those of us in ministry, we are challenged to show patience towards those who struggle seeing their sin, admitting their sin, and leaving their sin. We must patiently deal with those who are fully aware of what God is leading them to do, but have a difficult time doing it. We must be patient with people as they do their best to exchange their will for their life for God's will for their life.  

So how can we do this well? 

The option that we are most familiar with is self-directed. When faced with an opportunity to exercise patience, we must reach deep down within and have self-discipline, self-control, and self-restraint to respond in ways that are healthy for you and not hurtful to them. 

Now, I don't know about you, but, more often than not, this method doesn't work for me! My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak!

But, I have found that there is a Christ-inspired and gospel-centered approach that tends to provide for me a power to exercise patience like nothing else can. 

At the most basic level, this approach says,

In light of how patient Christ has been with me, how patient should I be?

Paul, in his letter to Timothy writes, "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life."

Paul received mercy from Christ so that Christ's perfect patience could be seen and experienced by others. 

In light of how patient Christ has been with your sin, how patient should you be with others' sin? In light of how patient Christ has been with your shortcomings, how patient should you be with others' shortcomings? In light of how patient Christ has been with your irresponsibility, how patient should you be with others' irresponsibility? In light of how patient Christ has been with your stubbornness how patient should you be with others' stubbornness.

The answer: VERY PATIENT.   

Inhale Christ's perfect patience towards you, exhale a greater patience towards others. This is the essence of pastoral patience. 

You can't receive perfect patience towards yourself and not be empowered to exercise greater patience with others. You just can't.

I dare you to try.

#453 - FOR THE LEADER WHO WANTS TO QUIT

Leader, I know you're overwhelmed. I identify with your worry. I am all too familiar with your stress. I understand the feeling of being pulled in more directions than you can physically go. I can relate to your desire to do anything but lead. There are many days when I want to quit too.

But my encouragement to you today is this: let gratitude pull you through.

Take a moment to think about and reflect upon what has been accomplished through your leadership. It is very likely in the last 90 days alone, you have experienced progress, breakthroughs, and victories that have the potential to energize and encourage you if you take the opportunity to appreciate them.

What are the benchmarks that have been reached? What are the goals that have been accomplished? Who are the people who have been impacted? What are the projections that have been exceeded? Who are the team members who have been performing well? What are the dreams that have been fulfilled?

Let gratitude pull you through.    

Take the good that has been and leverage it as a force to pull you towards the good that will be.

If God has used you before, He can use you again. If God has strengthened you before, He can strengthen you again. If God has drawn people before, He can draw people again. If God has provided for you before, He can provide for you again. If God has given you ideas before, He can give you ideas again. If God has propelled you forward before, He can propel you forward again. 

If, through you, He has done it before, through you, He can do it again!

REMEMBER.

#452 - THE GREAT PRIVILEGE OF LEADERSHIP

Leader, are you aware of the privilege you have been given? The privilege to influence. The privilege to impact. The privilege to inspire. The privilege to equip. The privilege to encourage. The privilege to empower.

The privileges of leadership are many, but I would like to bring your attention to one privilege in particular:

You have the privilege of leveraging your platform for someone else's progress.

Whether you see it this way or not, as a leader, you have a platform. 

You have the ability to: "voice one's views or initiate action" in a way that the people who you lead cannot. This platform may come in the form of authority, opportunity, resources, leverage, access, an email list, a website, a social media account, or even a physical stage, and it is this platform that allows you to get your job done.

Leader, you have a platform.

But, in addition to your platform, leader, you also have a choice. 

You can use your platform primarily to pursue your prize, or, you can leverage your platform to propel someone on your team to a greater degree of progress and potential. 

You can use your platform to make much of yourself, or, you can use your platform to make much of others.

You can use your platform as a book to tell your story, or, you can use your platform as an encyclopedia to tell the story of many.

My encouragement to you is this: give your platform away. 

Give your platform away to the team member with potential. Give your platform away to the team member with experience. Give your platform away to the team member with drive. 

Give your platform away to the young man or young woman in the next generation with passion. Give your platform away to the older man or older woman from a previous generation with wisdom. Give your platform away.  

Give away authority. Give away opportunity. Give away resources. Give away leverage. Give away access. Give away stage time. Give away air time. Give away influence.  

Give your platform away.

As you already know, there will come a day when you no longer have a platform. But, will it be because it was taken away or because it was given away? If it is because of the former, that is a tragedy. If it is because of the latter, you will leave a legacy. 

#451 - HOW TO ATTRACT A GREAT TEAM

Who you are is who you attract.

John C. Maxwell refers to this as the Law of Magnetism, and I'm convinced that it is a principle that reveals more about the quality of your leadership, for better or for worse, than any of his other "laws." 

In other words, the best indicator of the quality of your leadership is the quality of the people who are following you.

With this idea in mind, take a quick inventory. Are you pleased by the attitudes, work ethic, and level of commitment of those who would call you their leader?  Are you excited to work with the team you lead? Are you proud to call the people you lead your team members?

If your answer is yes, the good news is, who you are has something to do with why you've been able to surround yourself with great people. 

If your answer is no, the bad news is, who you are has something to do with why you've been unable to surround yourself with great people!

So what do you do if you don't currently have a "followership" that you are proud of?

 CHANGE.

If you want a team with a greater degree of commitment, become more committed. If you want a team with an increased passion for the mission, become more passionate about the mission. If you want a team who is more accountable for their work, become more accountable for your work. If you want a team characterized by transparency,  become more transparent. 

Who YOU ARE is who you attract.

Become more and you can attract more. Become better and you can attract better. Become greater and you can attract greater.

Or, if this seems too difficult for you and you find yourself unwillingly to put in the hard work necessary to develop yourself personally, you can just refuse to take responsibility and place yourself on the path of least resistance...

BLAME. 

#450 - AN IMPORTANT MINISTRY TENSION TO MANAGE

Service and Sales.

Being present and available for the people who are currently under your care while being thoughtful and intentional about planning for the people who are not yet under your care. 

Loving those "in the flock" while pursuing those "outside the flock."

Discipling "the found" while evangelizing "the lost."

As a ministry leader, this is a very important tension to manage. 

If you lean too far in one direction you run the risk of being outwardly ineffective, if you lean too far in the other direction you run the risk of being inwardly insensitive.

But, both sides of this tension are a necessity. Both deserve a certain amount of your attention. Both require systems and processes to be put in place to execute well. Both are a requirement of the Great Commission. 

With that in mind, here are a few things I try to keep in mind to manage this tension effectively:

1. Identify which direction you naturally lean. (I am naturally more "insider focused.")

2. Schedule time to invest your energy and effort in the opposite direction.

3. Recruit team members whose strength is your weakness.  

4. Pray that God gives you the wisdom of when to lean into which direction. 

I encourage you to take the time to take whatever steps you need to in order to strike this balance.

It may seem harsh, but the reality is, if we don't put the proper emphasis on both of these responsibilities of the local church, only one word will be fit to describe our ministries - unfaithful. 

#449 - A REALITY CHECK FOR PASTORS

Today I found out that yet another "high-profile" pastor has been removed from his position in ministry. The elders within the church discovered unresolved sin in his life that disqualified him from his role, and both the elders and the pastor decided that stepping down would be the best course of action.

In addition to grieving and praying for this man and the church that he leads, I also find myself staring at, once again, the devastating implications of sin - especially for those who serve in pastoral ministry.

This man's story serves as another serious warning to me that unconfessed, unresolved, unattended to sin is costly. Not only will it undermine the work that you have put in to serve the local church, but it also has the potential to hinder the work that God is doing in the individuals within the local church that you serve.  (I understand fully that God's work in the lives of people will happen with or without me, but the idea of my sin in any way hindering that work is a terrible thought.)

Knowing that I am just as susceptible to sin as the pastor who was removed from his position, I am compelled to pray the following prayer that I encourage you to pray with me as well:

Heavenly Father, help me. Your word says that sin is crouching at my door and that its' will is to overtake me. Lord help me to be aware of this sin. Lord help me to avoid this sin. Lord and if, for any reason, I succumb to this sin, give me the humility and courage to repent and confess. Lord help me. Lord help me. Lord help me. Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil. The same power that rose Jesus from the grave lives in me, and I ask for that power to help me overcome sin today. I pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.  

#448 - A RECOMMENDED RHYTHM OF REST

When it comes to leadership, I am convinced that the most important person you will ever lead is yourself.  

If you can't effectively lead yourself to accomplish your goals and objectives, how can you reasonably expect that you would be able to lead someone else to accomplish theirs?

Those who see you as their leader are watching you, and if they see that you are unable to lead yourself, over time, their respect for you will decline and your ability to lead them effectively will eventually erode.

With this reality of leadership in mind, one of the most important areas you must lead yourself in is...rest.  Because no one can rest for you, because no one can force you to rest, you must establish and execute, for yourself, a rhythm of rest.

One of the greatest gifts you can give to the team you lead is your emotional energy, and if you do not have adequate rest, emotional energy will be something you do not have the capacity to give.

Several years ago, I was "sold" on the idea of making rest a priority by Pastor Rick Warren when he outlined the following recommended "rhythm of rest."

1. Divert Daily  - Every day break away from your work to do something you enjoy.

2. Withdraw Weekly  - Every week take a full 24 hours straight to disconnect from your work entirely. 

3. Quarantine Quarterly  (I added this one, and couldn't think of another "Q" word that would work!) - Though this wasn't a part of Rick Warren's plan, I recommend that every quarter you take 2-3 days to "get away" to think, plan, pray, rest, and do whatever else you need to do to recharge. I used the word "quarantine" because, as an introvert, I like the quarterly break to be in isolation!

4. Abandon Annually  - Every year take at least a week or two and go on a vacation! Leave the laptop at home, set up an email auto-responder, put your cell phone away, and take this opportunity to remind yourself that your work, your organization, and your team will be just fine without you!

If you're not yet convinced that establishing a rhythm of rest is important, I will leave you with this closing thought:

If you do not choose to rest, your body will eventually shut down and force you to rest.

The question you must ask yourself is, "Do I want my rest to be an intentional, proactive choice or a forced, reactive response?"

Choosing the former will surely strengthen your leadership ability, becoming a victim of the latter will indefinitely cripple it.

Choose rest.

#446 - ABOUT EXCUSES

If there is one thing you can count on never having a shortage of, it is...excuses. 

Excuses for why you can't.
Excuses for why you shouldn't
Excuses for why you won't.

Excuses to prevent you from starting.
Excuses to keep you from continuing.
Excuses to stop you from finishing.

And the reason why you'll never have a shortage of excuses? Anything can be an excuse.

Let me say that again just in case you missed it. If you are looking for an excuse not to do something, you WILL find one because anything can be an excuse. 

Your age. Your race. Your socioeconomic status. Your parents. Your kids. Your education. Your religion. Your past. Your job. Your schedule. Your friends. Your President. The weather.

When an excuse is what you want, an excuse is what you will find.

My challenge to you is to not let the direction of your life be driven by your excuses. Do not let your future be determined by your excuses. Do not let your legacy be defined by your excuses.

Instead, allow the outcome of your life to be decided by a much more powerful force...

YOUR REASONS. 

#445 - THERE'S MORE

Are you challenging yourself? 

To compete harder. To achieve greater. To dig deeper. 

Are you challenging yourself?

To create better. To persevere longer. To reach higher.  

I encourage you on this first week of the second quarter of 2016, to make the decision to pursue a goal that will require you to push yourself to your mental, physical, vocational, or relational limits.

There is more inside of you.

More fight. More creativity. More value. More athleticism. More love. More contribution. More effort. More influence. More desire. More achievement. 

There is more for you to accomplish.
There is more for you to experience.
There is more for you to conquer.

But you must be aware,

Your "more" is always at war with your "less."

The war is real. The war is relentless. The war is always being fought.

But you have a weapon - CHOICE. So, wield this weapon and choose "more."

And do it quickly before "less" chooses itself.

#444 - THOUGHTS ON PREACHING - PART 1

Thursdays are the days I spend the majority of my day preparing for the message I am going to preach on Sunday. In addition to studying the text, preparing my Keynote slides, and doing a lot of praying (a LOT of praying!), there are several questions that I force myself to answer before I conclude my preparation for the day.

Over the next several days I want to share with you the questions I ask myself. Here are the questions I ask myself to help me set up my INTRODUCTION:

1. What is a compelling question that I can frame the message with that both unbelievers and believers would be interested in the answer to? [This gives the audience a "reason" to listen.]

2. What is a personal story I can share of how I have recently dealt with the issue this message addresses? [This connects the audience with me and my humanity.]

3.  What are several general ways that the audience has dealt with or is dealing with the issue that is being addressed? [This further connects the audience with the message.]

4. What is at stake if myself and the audience do not understand the answer to the question being posed? [This adds "gravity" and "weight" to the message.]

I spend a significant time on how I "set-up" my message because I am convinced that it's not enough to just "teach the Bible" on Sundays. I must show those I am ministering to how what I am about to teach has implications and applications for their life that truly matter.

I liken the introduction to a message to how I feel about the first few pages of a book. If a book doesn't get my attention in the first few pages, I'll most likely put the book down and never get to "the rest" of what the book has to offer! Similarly, if I can't get the audience to care about what I'm going to say in the first 5 minutes, it will be very difficult to keep them engaged for the next 35!

#443 - A PROPER ROLLOUT

Though we are a church that is in its' third full year, I am ashamed to admit that a clear, intentional, strategic discipleship process has not been something we have had in place. 

But, in an effort to remedy this issue, as a leadership team, since January, we have been working on defining the discipleship process at theMOVEMENT.

In a few weeks, I am going to do my best to rollout this process.

With this is mind, here are a few questions I'm doing my best to answer as this "rollout" unfolds:

1. Who are the stakeholders who will ensure this rollout's success?

2. Are the stakeholders on board? 

3. Has clear communication gone out in regards to when the rollout is going to take place? 

4. Have proper handouts/visuals been created so that what is being rolled out is clearly understood? 

5. Is the "Why?" behind what is being rolled out convicting and compelling? 

6. Do we have positive/negative testimonies in place of people who have benefitted from and missed out on what is being rolled out? 

7. Are the "next steps" we want people to take obvious and easy? 

8. How will people get their questions answered in regards to what is being rolled out?

9. How will people provide their feedback to what is being rolled out?

10. When will version 2.0 with all of its' upgrades/fixes be released? 

In no way is this an exhaustive list of all that needs to be involved in a "rollout," but these are the things on the top of my mind. 

What else would you add to this list? Please comment below! 

#441 - 5 WAYS TO GET WORK DONE

1. You can do the work.

2. You can do the work with followers. 

3. You can do the work through followers. 

4. You can do the work through leaders who do the work through followers. 

5. You can do the work through leaders who do the work through other leaders. 

Though there is no moral value to the way you aspire to get the work done, there is a ceiling to the amount of work that can actually be accomplished at each level.

With that in mind, as a leader, there are two questions you must have the courage to answer: 

1. How much work would I like to get done? 

2. Am I willing to invest my life into developing leaders who develop leaders so that more work can be accomplished?

#440 - GO FIRST

Be honest. About your fears. About your faults. About your failures. 

Too many people are carrying the weight of their past, their problems, and their pressures and they feel as if they have no choice than to shoulder their burdens on their own. 

But it is your honesty about your issues, many times, that gives people the permission to be honest about their issues.

But what they need is a leader.  

A leader who is vulnerable, transparent, and courageous enough to go first. 

Because that's what leaders do. 

Leaders go first.

#421 - THE MOST VALUABLE, FREE GIFT YOU WILL EVER GIVE

In a world filled with so much cynicism, criticism, and discouragement, affirmation is a precious gift, and during the Christmas season, I encourage you to give it.

Most everyone I know, myself included, has doubts, fears, and hesitations about where their life is headed and who they are becoming. Like a delicate vase, our self-esteems are so fragile and can be broken by the words of others in an instant. And they have been. 

Most of us have had words spoken over our lives that have absolutely crushed us. Parents, friends, relatives, bosses, co-workers, teachers, and complete strangers are all capable of uttering words that are hard to recover from. Words that leave a scar on our lives that cannot be removed. Words that give us nightmares. Words that cause us to lose all desire to try something new. Words that leave us wounded.

But in the same way that criticism can destroy a life, affirmation can restore it!

Affirmation of gifts, talents, and abilities, Affirmation of progress made. Affirmation of victories achieved. Affirmation of success experienced. Affirmation of character traits displayed. Affirmation of goals accomplished. Affirmation of potential recognized. There is so much we can affirm in others! 

AND TO GIVE IT COMES AT NO FINANCIAL COST TO YOU!

All you need to do is invest your awareness - Who do you need to affirm? Your thought - What do you need to affirm in that person? And your energy - When will you do the affirming?

Please, I encourage you to give the gift of affirmation this Christmas season. This may seem extreme to you, but my belief is this: someone's personal joy and belief in themselves may be depending on it.

#419 - GOD IS FAITHFUL

God is faithful. Though we doubt, He's faithful. Though we question, He's faithful. Though we lose hope, He's faithful. 

God is faithful. His hand is mighty. His arm is strong. His will is sovereign. His love is relentless. His timing is perfect. His Word is true.  

God is faithful. To the saint. To the sinner. To the rich. To the poor. To the Black. To the White. To the male. To the female. To the seen. To the unseen.

God is faithful. To encourage. To equip. To empower. To reach. To renew. To release. To discover. To develop. To deploy. 

God is faithful. He will do what He said He would do. He will provide what He said He would provide. He will build what He said He would build. 

God is faithful. Every promise He has made will be fulfilled. Every purpose He has decreed will come to pass. Every plan He has devised will be completed.

God is faithful. His faithfulness cannot be stopped. His faithfulness cannot be prevented. His faithfulness cannot be derailed.

God is faithful. In every season. In every year. In every generation. God is faithful.  

Our primary responsibility is this...

HAVE FAITH IN HIS FAITHFULNESS! 

#417 - THE FIGHT I'VE DECIDED TO NO LONGER FIGHT

When receiving feedback about our work, attitude, or performance it is so easy to interpret it as an attack against us. Because our work and how we go about doing our work is very personal we take the feedback very personally. But, often times, this creates problems.

One of these problems being, responding to feedback by attacking back.

Not only have I seen this in others, but I have done this myself and nothing good ever comes of it!

I believe we attack back because subconsciously, during feedback conversations, we are thinking to ourselves...

If I'm going down, you're going down with me.

Because in a feedback conversation we are made to feel less than good about ourselves, many times, our knee-jerk reaction is to make the person providing us the feedback feel less than good about themselves.

Whether we are aware of it or not, when someone gives us feedback, we interpret it as them "scoring a point" against us so we feel the need to attack back to "even the score."

Or, we attack back because we have convinced ourselves that we are the "pride police" and it is our job to humble the person giving us the feedback lest they think too highly themselves. By doing this we actually believe we are serving the person by attacking them back! Crazy human beings we are!

Regardless of the reasons why we justify our "attacking back," the problem with doing so is this: we miss out on the truth in the feedback!

We miss out on the insight. We miss out on the perspective. We miss out on the wisdom. We miss out on the growth opportunity. Instead of growing up we expend all of our energy fighting back. 

With all of this in mind, here is the commitment I'd like us to make the next time we find ourselves in a feedback conversation. EXCHANGE YOUR BOXING GLOVES FOR A NOTEPAD AND A PEN. Instead of looking at these conversations as fights you must win see them as opportunities to be made aware of lessons you must learn.