#554 - HOW THIS LAST FAST REVEALED THE DEPTH OF MY DEPRAVITY

Many of the lessons I learned through my latest extended time of fasting and prayer are both damning and freeing to me all at the same time. Maybe I will take the time to explain these lessons in more detail in a future post, but for now here is an overview of some of my most significant "AHA" moments from the last 30 days. 

  • For a majority of my life, my actions, as a Christian, have communicated that I believe that God exists primarily for me. 
  • Over the years, my reasons for fasting have been primarily self-serving. 
  • I have believed, wrongly, that the more "extreme" of a fast I did, the more obligated God was to bless me.
  • I have fasted because I've wanted to put God in a position where He owes me. 
  • I have fasted more in an attempt to "unlock" the key to blessing rather than to bless God. 
  • In times past, I have been more concerned with how I was fasting than why I was fasting. (And when I have been concerned with why, those reasons, though on the outside may have seemed noble, were just veneers for my true selfish motivations.)
  • I was concerned primarily with "how" because the more "right" I did it, the more assurances I would have that it would get me the results I wanted.
  • God cannot be manipulated.
  • A god who can be manipulated by my actions is not God.
  • I don't want to serve a god I can manipulate. That's a weak god.
  • Because God's glory is the purpose of life, praise is the purpose of prayer and fasting.
  • God doesn't exist for me. I exist for God. 
  • Petition is the most common and comfortable way of communicating with God.
  • When I praise God more thoroughly, I find petitioning less necessary.
  • To praise God accurately, understanding His attributes is a necessity.
  • God is worthy of my praise.
  • Praise unto God is satisfying and fulfilling to the deepest parts of my being. 
  • Leading myself and others to praise God in spirit and in truth is the purpose of my ministry.
  • Ministry and discipleship that does not explicitly have as its end the glory of God will, by default, end up glorifying man.  
  • I would rather have my fast be "less extreme" and done unto the glory of God than "more extreme" and done unto the glory of myself. 
  • A life that is better for me void of a God that is beautiful to me is not a better life.  
  • If you got God to do everything that you wanted Him to, but you don't get God you lose. 
  • The main threat to the Christian life isn't "pagan" behaviors. The main threat to the Christian life is  "Christian" behaviors done with pagan motivations.
  • I don't just need God's grace for all the wrong things I've done, I need God's grace for all the "right" things I've done for the wrong reasons! 
  • I am a self-serving wretch. BUT...Jesus is my Savior!